I wrote this years ago, and people have asked about it since. Do enjoy.
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An Occurrence of Morning Dew Upon The Spirit of Mankind or How a Nest is Best De-birded
Op. 69, N.P.S. (No Particular Scale)
Movement The First
Time Signature: 3/17, affettuoso
[Plant face in center of keyboard] rest half beat [Drag face along keyboard to left]; [Grab person closest and make the sound of a turtle].
Ibid. a fortiori
[Do nothing for 35 minutes]; [Return face to keyboard (center)]; [Pluck string of harp (scowl)]; [Play middle C on piano (smile)].
Movement The Third
Time Signature: 17/3, larghetto con brio
[Grab person closest and make the sound of a turtle]; rest half beat [Plant face to left of keyboard (look confused)]; [Reenact your birth].
You may also notice the title has very little to do with the piece itself. Indeed; as the living will find life often has nothing to do with anything.
As a final note; keys stroked during the dragging of your face will no doubt create a visual image upon the screen of the computer used. You didn't realize the piece required a computer? Insufferable plebe . . . quit reading. You degrade my work.
For Non-Plebeian Thinkers: I recommend printing this image off on an aged piece of parchment and displaying it. The paper will no doubt serve as a fine piece of contemporary artwork worthy of any astute gallery. However, be wary - the parchment must only be hung in opposition to classical works. Otherwise, the universe would surely collapse in and upon itself by virtue of confusion. I therefore recommend the piece be hung upon the floor or ceiling. One might also consider placing it in the trashcan; for this will surely throw the observer off, and add salience to points obscured . . . heretofore.
Now, I'm off to film a man eating a cheeseburger, so be sure to leave a like and share this genius with your intellectually challenged friends. It will be good for them.